Uncomfortable

I just realized that I had not posted today. That is odd... I normally do it early. Today the Spirit has provided 'plenty' of inspiration, too, making it doubly unusual that this blog has not even entered my mind until this evening. Weird!

I think part of the problem is this subject. I knew it was coming and I knew I was not going to be able to sweep it under the rug. I probably will not ever read this one again.

Have you ever seen The Passion? I recall the first time it played in the theater. Our church bought out the entire theater and sent the members off to a free viewing. I wrestled, and wrestled, and wrestled with going. The spiritual warfare was UNBELIEVABLE. I didn't want to see anyone's portrayal of what we did to the Lord. I didn't want to see it, think about it, hear it. To this day His sacrifice is more than I can truly comprehend, and I'm still bothered through my gratitude. Does that make sense?

Well... all that to say this... The Lord has recently given me new insight to what it must be like to lose your children. You can't really get it until you 'have' children. To that end, you probably can't get it unless you have lost a child, either. But I do know what it is like to love someone so much it hurts. To know what a momma bear must feel like around her cubs... a jealous, protective, violent, frenzied love... Moms and dads everywhere know what I mean.

Perish the thought of losing a child. Perish the scenario. And by the way... it IS defeated, we're just waiting for a fulfillment of all things made new.

Meanwhile, God is losing His children. While we are busy playing church and tossing fives into the offering plate, and on a good day giving blood at work, He is losing that which is most important to Him. How do you picture God? Is He an old-looking fellow on a regal throne, grinning every time you do a good deed or resist cussing at traffic?

I know He is well-pleased with me. I know He is well-pleased with all those who call Him Father. He sees Jesus in and on us, after all. But there are some that He simply grieves over. He grieves over their choices, over their unbelief... and He then must grieve that the rest of us are so bogged down with ourselves that we never shine His light on the fading lives of the perishing. We just let them die like they are - and it is EASY to justify it, here. Besides, it was their choice. If that answer doesn't sound lame yet, give it time.

Really, you don't have to think about losing a child very long before your heart nearly rips itself out. I heard a pastor say, once, that there will be tears in heaven until God Himself says, no more tears (at the end of the Millennial Kingdom). Until then, many of the tears shed will be God's tears, because until there is no more death He will continue to lose children.

I'm so thankful that God made it abundantly clear within scripture just how much He loves children. He has that 'momma bear' mentality with children. If a person only knew what God had in store for those who abuse children, or who lead them astray, they would... tie a millstone around their neck and throw themselves into the sea, maybe. What comfort it is to know that children are HIS. Thank you God, for loving and protecting and claiming our children. I know, now, why you wish we were all as they are.